But if you want a real, long-term and committed relationship, having sex too soon sends the wrong signal to the guys you date.What Happens After Having Sex With A Guy Too Soon Ultimately, having sex too soon rarely turns dates into a relationship.We ended up back at my house for a glass of wine, and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, so we slept together. I really like this guy and I’m worried that sleeping with him means it’s over, that this relationship will go nowhere. —BG, Chicago, Illinois The gay woman’s perspective: Jody Fischer Is there a chance that the two of you can work?In your past relationships, could you tell if things were “going to work” after one date?They’re literally wired up to protect themselves against putting all their energies into a woman who might not put all of her eggs in his basket. Here’s what I advised for her~and, if you’re a woman in her shoes, for you.At the beginning of the very next date, at a point when you two are in no danger of having sex (such as in the middle of dinner in, one hopes, a public locale), say something along these lines:“I like you, but I barely know you, and I’m not ready to date you exclusively; sex makes a relationship exclusive and serious too quickly, at least for me.
Yet if you've fallen into the sticky trap of sleeping with someone too soon, even knowing that it's not in your best interest, you may have: of you have the same understanding about the nature of your relationship.But every guy I’ve ever talked to about this agrees that:1) They wouldn’t have cared if it was just one or two more dates in the future – as long as they KNEW it was going to happen and they weren’t being toyed with.(Getting led on sucks.)2) They always felt a bit let down when it happens too soon.So how do you know if maybe you slept with him just a wee bit too early?But first, I have to give you a little reminder about the Carlos Cavallo school of thought on the whole “sex in the first few dates” thing…Look, the reality is that most women do sleep with guys way sooner than they’d like to.– Sometimes yeah it was for fun, and you let it just be that.– Sometimes it’s out of insecurity…– Sometimes it’s a ploy to win him as a .