But you learned when you were three — with the whole “monsters under the bed” thing — that some fears are imaginary. But remember that you can’t hide forever and nobody is perfect. Say, you thought you would be with a creative person, or you assumed you were strictly partial to blondes, or you had in your mind that you were only attracted to Kal Penn-lookalikes after seeing I’m not saying to ignore your relationship niggles. I know a few people who have had terrible tragedies in their families and felt this invisible pull to defend and dedicate themselves completely to their families until the end of time.Here are 12 ways fear interferes with love, and why you should kick it to the curb (and say yes to that relationship). Those cold-hearted a-holes.) Doesn’t that make you feel better? But ask yourself: do you want to be alone for the rest of your life? Your new boyfriend/girlfriend is not perfect, either. Love never works perfectly all the time, but that doesn’t mean it’s not the best thing you will ever experience — the bad and the good makes that so. I’m saying you should explore them really, really closely. I don’t know what that is like and I don’t want to pretend to, but I do know this: your family members are going to go out and finding relationships for themselves, or they already have. Your family will still be there for you, and they will be happy for you.If life were one big bumper car game, and we were all afraid of getting hurt, we would be a little more gentle with each other, wouldn’t we be? But unless you have very, very strong convictions to be single for the rest of your life (hey there, my nuns sisters! We’ve all received the memo, and we are all okay with it. If you are afraid to enter a relationship because you don’t think you have time, there is a much bigger problem, here, and it has nothing to do with relationships. Are they leading to actual, legitimate reasons for concern? (I wish someone would have pounded this into my brain years ago.) If you really want to be in that relationship, you will make it work because you won’t see any other option.So let’s just all agree to be more honest with each other about our feelings, and more kind to one another in our relationships, and hope that some asshole doesn’t break the rules and ram us from out of nowhere, sending us to the chiropractor. You are hiding behind your work/hobby/Law & Order obsession! If your job is standing in the way of the possibility of you feeling happy and fulfilled in a relationship and in love, what else will it stand in the way of? Say the girl you have been seeing always wears culottes. And it drives you crazy and makes you uncomfortable and makes you think “ehh I don’t… Long distance relationships are a shit-ton of work.No matter how great you are, your “cock” will never be big enough to hold on to this woman.I’m not saying she isn’t worthy of love but SHE doesn’t believe in her own worth.
But every time I try talking to a girl, getting close to a girl, or try to take “dating” to the next level, it never works out.Sometimes you might feel like you’re desperate to be in a relationship…until the possibility is right in front of you. I also never thought I would find a guy my family approved of, so I sort of let being in a relationship become, like, my 40th priority.(It’s like when you agree to go skydiving with a friend — then you see them jump out of the plane and you think, “No way am I doing that! ”) When trying to find love, often fear is the one, huge thing standing in the way. But if you are unsure, and there is someone in your life who you are interested in exploring a relationship with, and they are standing there with their arms open to you, and they are willing to help you out of your comfort zone into a new zone of possible relationship awesomeness, then for God’s sake, let them. You might think the only reason you seem desirable to anyone is because they don’t know you that well — because you have managed to put the best version of yourself on display — something you can’t necessarily do when you throw yourself into a honest relationship. Sometimes we look for someone in particular for weird reasons. I know that people do this with their parents and siblings.Can you help give me a clue on how to be more successful with the ladies?–Dustin Hey there Dustin, This means the moment some other guy dresses better, has more connections, a better time piece or an even more outrageous car, she’s going to lose interest in you and chase the shinier objects.